To The Young Black Girl in '92
Something that’s stayed in my memory since I was a kid that I’ve never really talked about: In 1992, during the Rodney King riots I was at home watching on the news everything that was going down. I was only 6 and I remember vividly what was shown on tv but I was never explained any context as to what or why this was happening, from my those around me nor from the media.
The following day at school I was in the lunch line, and in front of me was a black girl that I only knew from seeing around recess. I remember so casually tapping her on the shoulder and as she turned around I said, “Look at what you people are doing on tv, destroying everything. You should be sorry.” She had an angry, confused look on her face and turned back around while I, ignorantly went about my day like nothing happened.
As I’ve gotten older, this has been a tiny memory in the back of my mind that stayed with me with much regret and disappointment in my 32 years of life. It’s reminded me how easily influenced, brainwashed and ignorant kids can be simply from their surroundings. How bias media and racist mentalities (such as my father and the Asian-American immigrant community) can have such a huge impact on a young child. How easily internalized racism and anti-blackness can be planted. How ignorant and racist I was and what I could’ve become. And how much we need to make an intelligent and positive impact on future generations.
I think about how she’s doing today. How much she might have been hurt from it. How much it has impacted her life to growing up. To the young black girl from Maple Elementary in Seattle, Happy New Year. I hope you’re doing well. I’m sorry for what I said and I hope you can forgive me.
- Nam